Thursday, 14 July 2011

Once Upon A Time...

“When I’m 80 years old and sitting in my rocking chair, I’ll be reading Harry Potter.

And my family will say to me, ‘After all this time?’

And I will say,


- Alan Rickman.


Peerless said...

Once upon a time, there was a a young boy named harry potter. He lived in a house of omg why does this stuff keep happening to me. Patrick Stewart shows up and says: "Harry! I need you to meet an old friend of mine. Go to the town square and call for him. His name is Gandalf.". So Harry journeyed far to the only point in the town that was square.

There he found two jolly old fellows. He asked, "are you Gandalf? I was sent to find him by one of the most awesome muggles ever.". It was true, one of them was the wizard! Gandalf said proudly, "to you Harry, I will grant an epic ending with crazy visual effects. But..." he paused dramatically. "first, you must determine the purpose of this box.". Gandalf gesture to a peculiar box large enough to fit a person.

Harry began to ponder. What could this box be for. Then the front swung open and out pops a razor wire thin man. "I'm the doctor!" he proclaimed.

"who is he?" Harry asked

"He's the Doctor" said Gandalf "I told you to stay inside you're confusing him"

"surely if he is a doctor, then the box must be for healing" exclaims Harry with certainty

"no Harry, you are wrong. Look what you've done to him. Now he can't have an epic ending."

"I'm the Doctor!" exclaimed the man in the box, whom Harry had decided was most likely gibbering mad. "and I'm going to Gift you with three powers. The first, the power of Patrick Stewart. You'll be awesome no matter what. B) the power of Gandalf. You're pretty much going to have to cheat to get any more powerful than that. Well no, we'll give that to a teacher of yours. DONT LET HIM DIE! I'm sure you'll remember that.". The doctor beamed with pride "And X-three-fifty-two, paragraph 3 section b, I'll loan you the bitty mad lady in the blue box. Don't lose her and if she goes to the Bad guys, she's probably mad that you thought she was for medical purposes. "

The young Harry went home and with a potent pose declared: "ENGAGE!"

And so starts Harry potter. Fan fiction by a tired bored person with no desire to make sense! Enjoy your movie!

woodlandwalker said...

*claps* a Most exciting tale of woe and Patrick Stewart! I like that you think Gandalf is the most powerful! :)

Anonymous said...

My siblings saw a free prescreening of the final film a week before it came out. It was pretty cool.